I've learned that marriage is all about finding creative ways to ask for permission

like, 'Honey, can I turn the thermostat down?' is actually just code for 'Can I still be in charge of something?'

I've been thinking, marriage is like a great work of art

it starts with a blank canvas, and over time, it gets framed, hung, and occasionally, criticized by your mother-in-law

I was talking to the groom about his expectations for married life

He said he's looking forward to having a partner in crime, and I think he's going to get that – every time they look at their joint bank statement

I asked [Groom's Name] what he was most looking forward to about married life.

He said, 'Finally having someone to share all my hobbies with.' Bless his heart, he's about to discover a whole new world of *her* hobbies.