My therapist told me I need to stop catastrophizing.

Now I'm just catastrophizing about how bad I am at *not* catastrophizing.

My manager just called an 'urgent all-hands' meeting to discuss how we can all be more proactive about asynchronous communication.

They told me to get a side hustle.

Now I have three 'main' hustles and I'm still broke.

I just got a raise, but it's basically just an inflation adjustment

So now I can afford last year's lifestyle, congratulations to me