Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

My son was helping me in the garden yesterday, and he dug up a bunch of really old, cracked pots. He asked me what we should do with all of them.

I told him we should just plant some thyme in them.

I'm having a grape time at the wine tasting, but it's a crushing experience.