When my wife and I were dating, I'd bring her breakfast in bed every weekend.

Now, if I remember to start the coffee machine before she wakes up, I'm basically a superhero.

I've learned that the key to a happy marriage is

mastering the art of saying 'I'm sorry' without knowing what you did wrong

I asked the groom how he's preparing for married life

He said he's been practicing saying 'yes dear' in front of the mirror, and I think he's finally got it down to a blink

I told my wife she was drawing our bedroom curtains the wrong way

and now we haven't seen each other in weeks