I've learned that marriage is all about finding creative ways to ask for permission

like saying 'honey, can I watch the game?' when what I really mean is 'can I ignore you for three hours?'

I asked the groom how he knew the bride was the one for him

He said, 'She's the only person who doesn't mind that I'm still a work in progress, and by that, I mean she's agreed to be my editor for the next 50 years.'

I've noticed that marriage is a lot like a computer update

At first, it's exciting and full of new features, but eventually, it just takes up a lot of space and sometimes freezes on you.

Planning our wedding seating chart felt less like organizing a party and more like preparing for a delicate diplomatic summit.

We needed to establish a demilitarized zone between my outspoken aunt and his politically opinionated cousin, and frankly, bring in a UN peacekeeping force for the kids' table.