Why did the couple bring a magnet on their anniversary date?

They wanted to attract some old sparks.

I asked my financial advisor what the key to long-term satisfaction was.

He just sighed and said, 'Honestly, it's usually over too soon.'

My girlfriend asked me to fix a really stubborn clog in the shower last night. I had to get down on my knees, work it hard and deep with a long, flexible rod, and really thrust it in until it finally came loose.

The drain's running perfectly now, but I think I pulled a muscle.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to try something new, something 'really deep and meaningful' in our relationship.

So I spent an hour trying to figure out if she meant anal or missionary.