I've been dating a botanist, and she's been teaching me about the art of cultivation.

Apparently, I've been nurturing a weed.

My girlfriend told me she wanted our relationship to 'evolve,' to 'reach new heights' and 'explore uncharted territory.'

I thought she meant we should try anal.

I've been taking cooking classes with a professional pastry chef, and she's been teaching me about the importance of beating, whipping, and creaming to get the perfect rise.

I've been dating a girl who's a skilled paleontologist, and she's always taking me to her lab to show me her latest excavation project, which involves carefully removing layers to expose what's been hidden for a long time.

She says it's all about getting to the core of the matter, and I have to admit, it's been a real discovery process.