I saw a guy's social media post about 'manifesting his dreams' and 'being a go-getter'

but his LinkedIn profile says he's been a 'freelance social media consultant' for 5 years, which is just code for 'I still live with my parents'

My ex told me he wanted a woman who was 'independent and strong,' someone who 'didn't need a man to take care of her.'

Turns out, he just meant he wanted someone who'd pay for her own dates and never ask him to move a heavy box.

I saw someone drop their glove on the sidewalk yesterday.

I didn't just pick it up; I ran after them in slow motion, hair dramatically catching the wind, internally narrating the hero's journey of returning the lost relic.

I love how some self-care apps let you track your progress and set reminders to practice mindfulness

Because what's more relaxing than having an app yell at you for not meditating enough?