I was at the zoo with my family over the weekend, and we spent a lot of time watching the monkeys swing from tree to tree. The kids were laughing at their antics, and I was impressed by their agility. As we were leaving the enclosure, I turned to my kids and said

I guess you could say they were hanging around all day!

I tried to draw a picture of a pencil, but I couldn't find the point.

What do you call a belt made of watches?

A waist of time.

I'm a baker and I'm feeling crumby about my career choice.