Why did Santa's elves start a North Pole union?

Because they wanted to clause for better benefits.

What do you call a candy cane that's feeling sad?

A blue stick

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

An abdominal snowman!

What did the grape say when it got stepped on at the holiday party?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine and said it was having a crush-ing Christmas.