They say that when you get married, two become one.

Which, for [Groom's Name], primarily means he now knows where the 'produce' section is at the grocery store.

I've learned that marriage is all about finding creative ways to say 'I'm sorry' without actually admitting you're wrong.

When my wife and I were dating, I'd bring her flowers just because.

Now, if I bring home the correct brand of paper towels, she looks at me like I just won the lottery.

My wife and I have been married for ten years and we still share a closet.

By 'share,' I mean her clothes live *in* the closet, and mine live *on* that one chair in the bedroom.