As we gather here today to celebrate the union of these two amazing people, I couldn't help but think about the secrets to a successful marriage.

And I realized, marriage is like a recipe for your favorite dish – it requires a pinch of patience, a dash of understanding, and the ability to not burn the house down, at least not together.

We hired a wedding planner to help us stay within budget

Now we're broke, but at least the wedding is perfectly planned

When my wife and I were dating, she used to say I was such a great listener, I'd often finish her sentences.

Now, I just finish her snacks.

When you're single, you dream about all the exciting adventures you'll have with your partner.

And then you get married, and suddenly 'exciting adventures' means successfully navigating the grocery store on a Saturday afternoon without forgetting the milk.