My wife and I have finally figured out the secret to a happy marriage.

We each have our own designated side of the couch and our own separate TV remotes.

I asked the happy couple what their secret to a harmonious marriage was, and they told me it's all about compromise.

Which is just a nice way of saying they're both still learning to pretend to listen to each other.

They say love is all you need, but I think marriage is more like a DIY project from a flat-pack furniture store.

You start with enthusiasm, follow vague instructions, argue over which part goes where, and eventually, you end up with something beautiful... and maybe a few extra pieces you're not sure about.

We started making our wedding guest list

and realized we needed a data analyst to help us negotiate the 'who gets cut' conversations with our families.