My parents asked if I'm saving for a down payment.

I told them I'm saving for the societal collapse – feels more realistic.

My doctor asked me about my long-term health plan.

I told him, 'Well, if things don't pick up, I'm just researching the best prices for my organs.'

My parents always said they wanted me to have a better life than them.

Now it looks like the only thing I'm inheriting is their economic anxiety.

My biggest fear isn't dying.

It's having to pay for the funeral.