A man and a woman walked into a bar, and the bartender looked up and said, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' The woman smiled and said they were on their first date, and the man had promised to show her a great time.

So he pulled out a condom and said, 'Let's get started on the main course.'

I've been dating a girl who's a professional sausage maker, and she's always trying to get me to help her stuff the casing.

I've been dating a girl who's a skilled geologist

and she's always trying to rock my world

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to tease her more in bed.

I said, 'Alright, but you're not getting an orgasm until you finally fix that leaky faucet.'