I've been dating a professional cartographer, and she's been teaching me how to navigate our relationship.

But honestly, I'm still having trouble finding the point of entry.

My girlfriend wanted to try role-playing in bed last night.

I told her I'd be the mailman, but she'd have to wait outside naked and I'd just leave the package on the porch.

My boss told me I need to stop coming up short on my deadlines.

I told him, 'At least I'm not the one coming early.'

I've been taking private dance lessons from a beautiful instructor, and she's been teaching me how to grind with precision, really thrust my hips, and make every move count.

Now I'm finally comfortable with my body and can tango in front of my family.