My girlfriend spent an hour in the dressing room yesterday trying on new pants.

When she finally emerged, she sighed and said, "It was a tight squeeze, and took a lot of maneuvering, but I think I'm really going to enjoy these."

My girlfriend told me she wanted something for her birthday that she could ride all night long.

So I went out and bought her a Peloton.

My wife just got a new hobby. She loves to spend hours getting things wet and slippery, then slowly working them in and out until they're firm and ready.

She's taken up pottery.

Why did the man get fired from the sperm bank?

He kept eating the samples.