I've been taking private lessons from a professional seamstress, and she's been teaching me about the art of piercing, stitching, and threading.

Now I can finally mend our torn relationship.

I've been dating a librarian, and she's always checking me out.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to 'take her breath away' in bed.

I said, 'Honey, I thought we agreed we were done with the chokeholds.'

I've been dating a professional upholsterer, and she's been teaching me how to reupholster our love life.

Now we're stitching together a strong relationship, one layer at a time, and it's getting deeper with every seam.