I went on a first date with a woman last night, and she told me she was really into self-care.

So I asked if she meant meditation, yoga, or just making sure she had enough clean batteries.

My golf game has really gone downhill lately.

My caddy told me I just need to remember two things: a firm grip and always finish in the hole.

My girlfriend asked me to help her with a new recipe last night. She said it needed a lot of careful preparation, a firm grip, and then I really had to beat it hard until it was stiff and peaked, ready for her to spread it out and enjoy.

Turns out she was just making meringue.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more adventurous in bed.

I said, 'Honey, I already tried that. Last week I spent twenty minutes looking for your clitoris.'