I asked my dad if the burgers were ready on Father's Day.

He just flipped one with his tongs and said, 'Not yet! They're still trying to *meat* my expectations!'

Dad's been working on the same home improvement project for months

I'm starting to think his idea of 'completion' is just being able to find all the tools he needs to finish it

My dad's been working on his backyard patio for months, and I finally asked him when it would be finished.

He just smiled and said, 'When the patio is done, I'll be too old to use it.'

I got my dad a smart thermostat for Father's Day, thinking it would put an end to his temperature tinkering.

Now he just complains that the future isn't warm enough.