My dad's idea of retirement is

spending 40 hours a week in the garage, but now he's getting paid in satisfaction instead of a paycheck.

I asked my dad what he wanted for Father's Day, and he said something to warm my heart

So I turned up the thermostat, now he's ecstatic and our energy bill is through the roof

For Father's Day, I told my dad I was feeling generous and wanted to buy him something extravagant.

He looked at me and said, "Hi generous, I'm dad!"

Dad's been working on his latest home improvement project for weeks

I'm starting to think his 'honey-do' list is actually a 'never-done' list