I asked my dad what his superpower was on Father's Day

He said it was his ability to turn any conversation into a discussion about the perfect grill temperature

For Father's Day, I got my dad a brand new smart thermostat.

He thanked me, then spent the rest of the day setting it to the exact same temperature it was before, just with more authority.

For Father's Day, I told my dad I was feeling generous and wanted to buy him something extravagant.

He looked at me and said, "Hi generous, I'm dad!"

My dad's neighbors think he's a professional landscaper

but really he just has a lot of free time and a riding lawn mower