My morning commute isn't just a drive to work.

It's the opening credits sequence of my own indie film, complete with a carefully curated soundtrack, intense stares into the middle distance, and every other driver is an extra in the grand narrative of my day.

I saw a guy's social media post about 'manifesting his dreams' and 'being a go-getter'

but his LinkedIn profile says he's been a 'freelance social media consultant' for 5 years, which is just code for 'I still live with my parents'

I saw a guy's Tinder bio that said he was a 'dog dad' with a 'heart of gold'

But his only photos were of him holding someone else's dog

I went on a date with a guy who said he was a 'minimalist'

His apartment had 12 video game consoles and a signed poster of himself