My main character energy is so strong, if I accidentally spill coffee on my shirt...

...I don't just grab a napkin. I freeze, look directly into a non-existent camera, and whisper, 'Is this... my life now?'

Men will complain about how 'high maintenance' women are, and how much time we spend on our appearance.

Then you check their credit card statement and it's 80% gym memberships, protein powder, and limited edition sneakers.

When I'm trying on clothes at the store, it's not just a fitting room experience.

It's a full-blown montage sequence set to an indie pop anthem, where I discover my true self in a sensible blazer, culminating in a dramatic slow-motion spin under the fluorescent lights.

I saw a guy's Tinder bio that said he was a 'dog dad' with a 'heart of gold'

But his only photos were of him holding someone else's dog