What did the grape say when it got stepped on at the holiday party?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine and said it was having a crush-ing Christmas.

What's the real 'Polar Express' for most parents on Christmas morning?

The express trip from their bed to the coffee maker.

Why did Santa's reindeer refuse to fly on Christmas Eve?

Because they were hoarse from all the team meetings!

Why did the Christmas tree go to the party?

Because it wanted to branch out and meet new people.