Alright everyone, as I get ready to carve this magnificent turkey...

...I just want to warn you all that I'm about to make some *cutting remarks*.

Why did the turkey refuse to play cards on Thanksgiving?

Because he heard someone might be stuffing the deck!

I've got a great idea for a Thanksgiving joke, but I've been having some trouble drumming up support

I guess you could say it's a little 'fowl' of a concept

My dad spends weeks bragging about his 'secret recipe' for the Thanksgiving turkey.

The secret ingredient, we've discovered, is usually 20 extra minutes in the oven and a fire extinguisher.