In my family, Thanksgiving dinner is like a competitive sport.

The winner is whoever can deflect the most personal questions without choking on a dinner roll.

Our family Thanksgiving dinner is the one time of year where we all come together

and silently judge each other's life choices over a plate of dry turkey

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the party?

Because it was a berry good dancer

Alright, folks, before I start carving this magnificent bird, I just want to say...

This turkey is really *fowl-play*ing with my emotions!