This Valentine's Day, I'm celebrating by getting into a long-term, committed relationship.

With my couch and a streaming service. We're very exclusive.

Are you a Valentine's Day coupon book?

Because you're filled with discounts to my heart and I want to redeem our love

What did the chocolate bar say to its sweetheart?

I'm nuts about you!

If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.

But since it's Valentine's Day, I'd say you're a *sweet* potato!