Why did the turkey refuse to play cards?

He was afraid of getting plucked!

Why did the cranberry sauce always win arguments?

Because it always had a berry strong point!

Alright, everyone, before I carve into this magnificent bird, I asked it one last question.

I said, 'Are you ready?' And it just replied, 'I'm feeling pretty *stuffed*!'

In my family, Thanksgiving dinner is like a competitive sport.

The winner is whoever can deflect the most personal questions without choking on a dinner roll.