I finally finished my masterpiece.

It's a spreadsheet tracking all my subscription services.

I'm considering buying a house, but the prices are outrageous

I've got a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a mortgage with a payment that doesn't require a second job... or a second lottery win

I asked my manager why our meeting couldn't have been an email

And they said 'because then we wouldn't have had the opportunity to synergize our thought processes and disrupt the paradigm of traditional communication'

I finally achieved financial stability.

Now I can afford the premium subscription to my anxiety app.