I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update, but my manager said

that would ruin the 'synergy' of watching each other drink coffee for 15 minutes

My dad told me to save 10% of every paycheck for my future.

Right now, my paycheck *is* 10% of what I need for my present.

I love how our company says 'we're a family here'

except when it's performance review time and suddenly I'm a foster kid up for adoption

I suggested sending a project update via email, but my manager insisted we needed a 'collaborative discussion'

now I've spent 2 hours in a meeting discussing the same 3 bullet points that were already in my email draft