My dad told me to save 10% of every paycheck for my future.

Right now, my paycheck *is* 10% of what I need for my present.

Our company's 'no meeting day' was so popular that

management decided to schedule a meeting to discuss how well it's going

My therapist told me I need healthier coping mechanisms.

So I started doom-scrolling for articles about healthy coping mechanisms.

I'm really trying to plan for the future.

My long-term plan is just to survive long enough to see the next season of whatever I'm binging.