When my wife and I were dating, I'd bring her breakfast in bed every weekend.

Now, if I remember to start the coffee machine before she wakes up, I'm basically a superhero.

I thought I knew my family well before planning our wedding.

Turns out, some relatives are like volatile chemicals; best kept in separate containers on the seating chart.

I remember when [Groom's Name] was really trying to impress [Bride's Name] back in their dating days. He'd talk about whisking her away for romantic weekends and cooking elaborate gourmet meals.

Now, I'm pretty sure his most impressive daily gesture is successfully navigating the Sunday morning grocery run without a list, and still remembering to pick up her favorite ice cream.

Before we got married, I'd write my wife little love notes.

Now, a 'love note' is me leaving the last bite of pizza in the box for her.