My wife and I have been married for ten years, and we've finally figured out who's responsible for what.

Turns out, we both think the other person is responsible for changing the toilet paper roll.

We started our wedding seating chart with a simple diagram.

It quickly evolved into a complex flowchart, complete with 'demilitarized zones' and 'mandatory buffer tables'.

My wife and I have a flawless system for deciding what to watch on TV.

I suggest five shows, she vetoes them all, and then we watch whatever she was already planning to watch.

I thought I knew my family well before planning our wedding.

Turns out, some relatives are like volatile chemicals; best kept in separate containers on the seating chart.