I've started to realize that my self-care routine is just a series of expensive habits I've convinced myself are necessary for my well-being

I've been swiping through dating apps, and I've noticed a pattern

Every guy is a 'serial entrepreneur' with a 'thriving business' – which is just code for 'I'm unemployed and play a lot of video games'

I bought a new pair of jeans that advertised 'invisible stretch technology.'

Turns out, 'invisible' just means they invisibly judge every single one of my life choices as I try to get them on.

I've started to think that my planner is just a book where I write down all the things I'm pretending to have control over