Alright, everyone, the star of the show has arrived! Before I start carving this magnificent bird...

...I just hope I don't make a *fowl* move!

In my family, Thanksgiving dinner is like a competitive sport.

The winner is whoever can deflect the most personal questions without choking on a dinner roll.

Why did the turkey refuse to play cards on Thanksgiving?

Because he heard someone might be stuffing the deck!

Why did the cranberry sauce get disqualified from the talent show?

It just couldn't jell with the judges.