Why was the Thanksgiving stuffing always so confident?

Because it knew its stuff!

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner seating chart isn't about politeness or proximity to the food.

It's a strategic battlefield plan to minimize exposure to Uncle Steve's political theories and Aunt Carol's 'When are you getting married?' interrogation.

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the doctor?

It was feeling a little saucy and had a berry bad cough!

I've got a fowl feeling about this meal