Our family's Thanksgiving dinner seating chart isn't about politeness or proximity to the food.

It's a strategic battlefield plan to minimize exposure to Uncle Steve's political theories and Aunt Carol's 'When are you getting married?' interrogation.

I've been trying to figure out why the turkey went to the doctor

Because it had a fowl cough!

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the doctor?

It was feeling a little saucy and had a berry bad cough!

Why was the stuffing always so confident?

Because it knew it was the stuff of legends!