Alright folks, before I dive into carving this magnificent turkey, I just have to say, it's so beautiful, it's practically...

poultry in motion!

My family's post-Thanksgiving dinner tradition isn't board games or Black Friday planning.

It's a synchronized, involuntary nap on every available soft surface.

The hardest part about Thanksgiving dinner at our house isn't the political debates or the burnt rolls.

It's trying to discreetly unbutton your pants under the table without anyone noticing.

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the counselor?

It was feeling a little jellied under the pressure