I've been dating a girl who's a professional cartographer, and she's always trying to map out our love life.

But honestly, I'm just trying to find the point of no return.

I've been dating a girl who's really into polyamory, and I have to say, it's been a real learning experience.

Now I know what it's like to be in a relationship, a backup plan, and a participation trophy all at the same time.

I've been taking private lessons from a skilled fencing instructor, and she's been teaching me how to make a strong point, penetrate my opponent's defense, and finish with a satisfying thrust.

My neighbor called me over late last night, frantic because her pipes were really backed up. She said she needed a big, strong man to come over and give them a good pounding until everything started flowing freely again.

Turns out she just needed a plunger.