I told my egg farmer friend that I was worried about his chickens

but he just said 'don't worry, they're egg-cellent at taking care of themselves'

So I was at the coffee shop with my kids, and we noticed that the barista was having a hard time keeping up with all the orders. She was moving around quickly, but still seemed a bit frazzled. I asked her if she was feeling a little

buzzed

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

I went to a seafood disco last night.

I pulled a mussel.