As we gather here today to celebrate the union of these two amazing people, I couldn't help but think about the secrets to a successful marriage.

And I realized, marriage is like a recipe for your favorite dish – it requires a pinch of patience, a dash of understanding, and the ability to not burn the house down, at least not together.

Planning our wedding seating chart felt less like arranging guests and more like a high-stakes geopolitical summit.

We spent more time on the peace treaties than on the actual vows.

We thought planning a wedding would be fun, like a big puzzle to solve together, until

we realized the puzzle was made of money, emotions, and 500 opinions from our relatives.

We tried to approach our wedding seating chart like a fun, strategic puzzle.

Turns out, it was more like hostage negotiations between warring family factions, with gravy boats as the only leverage.