In my family, the most anticipated event at Thanksgiving isn't the food or the football game

it's watching my aunt and uncle try to use Snapchat to send a group photo

I told the turkey to come to the table with an attitude adjustment

but it was a little fowl-tempered

Alright, everyone, before I carve into this magnificent bird, I asked it one last question.

I said, 'Are you ready?' And it just replied, 'I'm feeling pretty *stuffed*!'

Why did the stuffing get a promotion?

Because it was always *filling* its potential!