Why did the man bring a ladder on his second date?

He wanted to take things to the next level.

I've been dating a librarian, and she's very particular about our love life.

She's always checking me out, but never returns me on time.

My wife was complaining the other day. She said I never properly finish the job, always leaving things uneven and requiring her to pick up the slack, and that I really needed to work on my strokes to get a good, smooth coat.

She was talking about the new paint job in the living room, of course.

My golf instructor told me I needed to loosen my grip, adjust my stance, and really follow through with my shaft for a better shot.