Your mom asked me to try and fix the coffee maker this morning, because it was really slow and sputtering. I tinkered with it for a bit, but it just wouldn't cooperate.

I guess it was still trying to perk up.

What do you call a factory that makes good products?

A satisfactory!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!

I was trying to get my kids to eat more vegetables, so I took them to the garden to show them where they come from.

Now they're rooted in their refusal to eat them.