So I was watching a nature show with the kids about different kinds of trees, and we saw some really tall ones. My daughter asked me if all trees were good at remembering things.

I told her, 'No, only the ones with good mem-oaks!'

My son was reading a book about volcanoes, and he came across a really interesting fact about how they erupt. He asked me if I knew how volcanoes tell secrets.

I told him they usually 'lava' to tell the truth.

So, I was organizing the pantry the other day, going through all the dried fruit. I picked up a bag of prunes and couldn't help but notice how... well, seasoned they looked.

I almost asked them about their life story, but I figured they'd just give me a dry one.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.