When you're single, you dream about all the exciting adventures you'll have with your partner.

And then you get married, and suddenly 'exciting adventures' means successfully navigating the grocery store on a Saturday afternoon without forgetting the milk.

They say marriage is like a TV remote control.

In the beginning, you're both fighting for who gets to hold it. After a few years, you're fighting over who *has* to get up and find it.

We tried to create the perfect wedding seating chart

but it turns out you can't actually seat 'no drama' at a table by itself

My wife and I have been married for ten years and we still share a closet.

By 'share,' I mean her clothes live *in* the closet, and mine live *on* that one chair in the bedroom.