What did the Christmas tree say to the Christmas tree decorator?

You're always stringing me along, but I'm pining for a simpler look this year.

Why are modern Christmas carolers always a little confused when singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'?

They're not sure if they should actually expect figgy pudding anymore.

Why did the Christmas tree go to the therapist?

Because it was feeling a little root-less and wanted to branch out.

Why was the candy cane invited to all the Christmas parties?

Because it was a suckers' favorite