I asked my boomer parents for housing advice

They told me to 'just stop eating avocado toast', like that's the down payment on a McMansion

I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update, but my manager said

that would ruin the 'synergy' of watching each other drink coffee for 15 minutes

I just saw a 'cozy starter home' listed for half a million dollars.

The 'starter' part must refer to starting your multi-decade debt spiral.

My mom keeps telling me to 'just buy a starter home.'

I told her the only starter home I can afford is the one in Monopoly.