My main character energy is so potent, that when my Wi-Fi went out this morning...

...I didn't just troubleshoot it. I paced dramatically, stared out the window with a pensive expression, and waited for the inspiring background music to kick in so I could have my 'aha!' moment.

I was running errands yesterday and I decided to give my day a cinematic score

Now every time I'm at the DMV, I'm the heroine of a sci-fi epic, and the hold music is just the sound of my spaceship hovering over the planet Bureaucracy

My last breakup was a real cinematic masterpiece.

I had the dramatic monologue, the slow-motion walk away, and even waited for the rain. But then my ex yelled, 'You forgot your reusable water bottle!' and completely ruined the mood.

I saw a guy's Instagram story where he called himself a 'free spirit'

but his posts were just 12 identical pictures of his beard from different angles