I've started to realize that my self-care routine is just a series of expensive habits I've convinced myself are necessary for my well-being

My morning commute isn't just traffic.

It's the opening credits of my own indie film, complete with a custom soundtrack, dramatic lighting, and me staring pensively out the window, knowing that *this* is the montage where I find my true calling.

I've been noticing that guys on dating apps love to brag about their 'exotic' travels

but their Instagram stories are just 10 different angles of the Eiffel Tower from a middle school trip

I've started using a habit-tracking app to monitor my daily routine

Now I'm not just procrastinating, I'm also collecting data on how good I am at procrastinating