I went on a date with a guy who said he was a 'minimalist'

His apartment had 12 video game consoles and a signed poster of himself

I went on a date with a guy who said he was 'really into photography'

His camera roll was 90% selfies and 10% poorly lit meals

I cleaned out my purse today, and it wasn't just old receipts and lipstick.

It was a forensic deep dive into every single thought I’ve had in the last three months that I didn’t write down anywhere else, plus a rogue French fry.

My apartment building just installed those new high-tech package lockers where you scan a QR code to open them.

And every time I go down to get a delivery, I walk like a secret agent, dramatically scanning the code as if I'm disarming a bomb, even if it's just my subscription box of artisanal cheeses.