My family's Thanksgiving isn't just a holiday meal.

It's an annual performance review of everyone's life choices, followed by pie.

Alright everyone, as I get ready to carve off these drumsticks, it reminds me of something... Why did the turkey decide to start a band?

Because it had such great *drumsticks*!

I've been trying to figure out why the turkey went to the doctor

Because it had a fowl cough!

Why did the cranberry sauce go to therapy?

Because it was feeling a little jellied under the pressure