Many people compare marriage to building a house together.

But from what I've seen, it's more like building a really intricate LEGO set without instructions, where one of you thinks the roof goes on first, and the other is convinced it's all about the tiny flower garden.

My wife and I have been married long enough that we've truly mastered shared living spaces.

She gets the bedroom closet, and I get the laundry basket in the hall.

Planning our wedding seating chart felt less like arranging guests and more like a high-stakes geopolitical summit.

We spent more time on the peace treaties than on the actual vows.

I've been married for a few years now, and I've learned that the key to a happy marriage is

separate bathrooms, and not just because of the toilet paper roll thing.