I asked the happy couple what their secret to a harmonious marriage was, and they told me it's all about compromise.

Which is just a nice way of saying they're both still learning to pretend to listen to each other.

My wife and I have been married for ten years and we still share a closet.

By 'share,' I mean her clothes live *in* the closet, and mine live *on* that one chair in the bedroom.

I asked the bride this morning if she had any last-minute jitters about standing up in front of all these people.

She looked at me and said, 'Not at all! I'm just worried about standing up to *him* for the rest of my life!'

Before we got married, I had a walk-in closet big enough for all my clothes.

Now, I have a tiny shelf in my wife's walk-in closet, next to her seasonal scarves.