I've noticed that marriage is a lot like a computer update

At first, it's exciting and full of new features, but eventually, it just takes up a lot of space and sometimes freezes on you.

I've learned that marriage is all about finding creative ways to say 'I'm sorry' without actually admitting you're wrong.

I've learned that the key to a happy marriage is

separate bathrooms and a strong WiFi signal

We wanted a small, intimate wedding.

Then we tried to trim the guest list and realized our definition of 'immediate family' included second cousins twice removed and everyone we'd ever met in line for coffee.