I've been dating a girl who's a professional architect, and she's always trying to redesign our sex life.

Now every time we hook up, it's a blueprint for disaster.

I've been dating a girl who's a master gardener, and she's always trying to get me to help her with her roots, especially the ones that are really deep and need a lot of attention.

Now our relationship is really growing, and I'm finding myself getting wrapped up in her vines.

I've been dating a professional librarian, and she's been teaching me about the importance of cataloging and shelving our desires.

But it turns out, her favorite position is still 'between the stacks'.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional taxidermist, and she's always trying to get me to mount something that's been dead for a while.